Give Them Grace

Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson’s book Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus is not your typical parenting book. It doesn’t promise a quick fix; it doesn’t offer a set of step-by-step rules; and it doesn’t put the impossible weight of your children’s future happiness on your shoulders. Instead, this book teaches a revolutionary lifestyle. It reveals the inherent weakness of every step-by-step parenting model that has, does, or will exist. And, if that isn’t enough, it frees you from the tyranny of parenting perfection by placing your child’s future happiness firmly in the hands of a gracious God. In fact, the two words that best describe my reaction to this book are Shock and Awe. Shock because even though I have been a follower of Jesus and a pastor for quite some time, I have not allowed my parenting to be distinctly marked by the simple truth of God’s grace. Awe because even though I have sinfully neglected the grace of Jesus in my parenting, it is still there.

Give Them Grace is separated into two main sections: Part One – Foundations of Grace and Part 2 – Evidences of Grace. In the opening chapter, the authors highlight the major differences between the law-based parenting that so many Christians practice and the grace-infused parenting that God calls us to. The next two chapters help parents realize that their kids (like themselves) are not good and will never be good apart from the gracious working of God in our lives. The fourth chapter focuses on God’s undeserved and prodigal (extravagant and wasteful) love for His disobedient children. The book’s second section seeks to be a very practical help to parent’s who desire to give their children grace, but feel overwhelmed at this gargantuan undertaking. Chapters Five and Six reveal Biblical guidelines for parenting by focusing on “of the Lord” parenting and the book of Proverbs. The very next chapter, “The Only Good Story,” narrates the beauty of the Gospel. Followed by Chapter Eight’s challenge to see God as He is: our kind, gracious, generous, good, and loving Father. The final two chapters speak hope into the soul of worried parents by teaching three basic facts of humanity: we are weak; Jesus is strong; therefore, we must simply rest in His grace. As worried parents we can embrace this hope because

Grace is what He has given to you: it is oh-so-costly unmerited favor. And with that favor comes His strength to enable you to persevere through every trial of parenting. Grace is not a novel, failsafe catchphrase that will ensure successful parenting. No, it’s something so much better than that! It is God’s assured favorable attitude toward undeserving rebels whom, in His inscrutable love, He has decided to bless (162).

So . . .  if you are a parent, this book is for you. Whether you are a sinfully self-assured, self-righteous pharisee of a parent, a sinfully profligate and uncaring parent, or a sinfully nominal Christian parent, Give Them Grace can help you to become the kind of grace-filled Christian parent that your kids need. I challenge you to read these words, embrace these truths, and then feed your kids the grace that they are starving for.