Finding the Balance
Love can be rather frightening, and there is a lot involved in maintaining a strong relationship. I know that this thought should be obvious, but I feel that we often miss the basic concepts involved in loving another person. Why is it so difficult to release your selfish desires, and to just be there for your spouse? This past week has been rather difficult, based on the arguments alone. Arguments centered around the ease with which two sinful people can ignore each other’s feelings.
My wife, Cristie and I are both rather outspoken people. We know who we are and what we stand for in our lives. Most of the time we are on the same page. However, the conflict between my love of doing nothing when I have free time and her love of all things active can make our lives interesting. We both need to learn to give in: I must learn to engage with more things more often, but she might learn how to do nothing a little better, as well. The sad truth is that all of our most recent arguments could have been avoided by either side giving in, just a little, to the other. I know we are new at this, but it seems so hard to balance each other. I want to become more involved and active, so how come when she offers something positive, I respond with a negative? Maybe it’s because, as Frank Turner said, I “just got used to saying no.”
The urge to be better is what drives us and embracing our differences is what will make us stronger not only as individuals, but as a husband and a wife. I don’t want to be remembered by my wife and kids as the husband and father that wasn’t there in any circumstance. I want to love and be the husband and father God has set forth for me to be. Learning how to balance our wants and needs will be what makes us. I want to be more open to the world, as my wife truly is. And I want her to see that a day of relaxation can be therapeutic to a soul. On Tuesday I want us to march forward and begin a revolution that will have our names printed in the history books. On Wednesday, in between brainstorming and peaceful battles, I want to grab a nap and read a few pages from a music magazine. Balance is a beautiful thought, and when two broken people come together to try to heal and make a better world wonderful things can happen.
We will get it down. And I know that our lives are destined for greatness as long as we are open to what God has for us. We have a long way to go, but we won’t stop trying to make our journey amazing.
2011′s Top 5 Records . . . So Far
Creativity, as we know, is a wonderful and beautiful thing. Creativity allows even the most broken soul to express itself in a wonderful and unique way. Aldous Huxley once said, “After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is Music.” So, staying with that thought, I wanted to do a little piece on my Top 5 Records of 2011 (So Far). These artists have added wonderful sounds to the airwaves and I highly recommend checking their music out.
1) Bon Iver, Bon Iver by Bon Iver
With deeper sounds and more of everything, this début is totally worth the hype. While it maintains the melancholy sounds and vibes of, For Emma, the new record is exactly what we want to hear from Justin Vernon. Haunting melodies, beautiful lyrics, and an overall feeling of true artistry.
Key Tracks: Perth; Calgary; Beth/Rest
2) England Keep My Bones by Frank Turner
This former punk frontman has never disappointed me with a record. His sound is amazing and his lyrics are biting and sincere. Frank Turner is not pleased with the world, and he intends to address the problems of it and himself, and use music to cause a revolution. His version of folk rock is simply awesome.
Key Tracks: I Still Believe; Nights Become Days; Redemption
3) Cults by Cults
Madeline Follin and Brian Oblivion have made the most amazing summer record you could ever ask for. Somewhere between hipster rock and 60’s pop, it truly is a beautiful feel good record to listen to as you drive with the windows down. The album times in just under 35 minutes, and that makes it the perfect commute album. So truly wonderful.
Key Tracks: Go outside; Abducted; You Know What I Mean
4) Follow Me Down by Sarah Jarosz
Sarah Jarosz is an awesome songwriter and a truly talented mandolin player. She mixes folk, bluegrass, and pop together seamlessly. Her voice is hauntingly beautiful, and you would never know she is only 20 when you hear the soul and depth of her melodies. Roots music is some of my favorite and my go to music, and Sarah Jarosz has some of the best.
Key Tracks: Annabelle Lee; Ring Them Bells; Old Smitty
5) Codes and Keys by Death Cab for Cutie
Ben Gibbard is a genius. This record is beautiful and doesn’t have a bad song on it. The instrumentation is the perfect complement to the wonderful vocals. It is so hard to express in words this record. You truly just need to hear it.
Key Tracks: Home is a Fire; You Are a Tourist; Stay Young, Go Dancing
The Return of the Coliseum
Two stories in the Wall Street Journal caught my attention today. In the first story an Egyptian Strongman, Al Sayed al Essawy, decides to show the world that Egypt is rising from their post-revolutionary funk by fighting a caged lion – not Egypt’s brightest moment. Al Essawy entered the cage with his shield (an old satellite dish covered in nails), a machete, and a two-pronged spear. The lion didn’t seem to care for this self-proclaimed strongman and simply ignored him. Critics say that the lion was starved for three days, then fed a whole donkey hours before the fight. The second story focuses on a 34-year-old father named Hobie Call who installs air conditioners for a living. This simple father decided to join the ranks of athletes involved in the the increasingly popular extreme obstacle races that are taking over the running world. Nobody expected much from Mr. Call, but he has won, an unprecedented 6 races in a row. These races are grueling events, some of which can last up to 72 hours. The longest of these “Spartan Races” is known as the Death Race.
After reading both of these stories I realized that, in spite of the thin veneer of civility that covers our culture, we are not that far removed from the barbarity of Ancient Rome. We are barbaric voyeurs: we like to watch and we like to watch things that shock us. We watch men fight lions; we watch men compete in death races; we enjoy the cage fighting of UFC; we tune into Big Brother, Survivor, and The Amazing Race in order to watch people push themselves to the limit socially, emotionally, and physically; we have even commoditized romance as we watch people fall into lust and love on shows like The Bachelor.
The downside to all of this voyeurism is the innate desensitization that comes from this barbarity. As the Ancient Romans learned all too well, the mob always wants more. The Coliseum came into existence as a theater, but eventually the masses grew bored with animal hunts, naval shows, and religious stories. The mob began to clamor for the next big thing and the coliseum ceased to be a place of fictional entertainment in order to become a place of “real” entertainment. What began as a place to see a show became a place to see a murder.
So, the questions that this leaves us with are simple: How far away from the Coliseum have we really come? Is the thin veneer of our own civility cracking? Are we on our way to embracing the barbarity of Ancient Rome to sate the voyeuristic appetites of modern culture? Let me leave you with a quote from the creator of the Death Race, Mr. Joe De Sena . . .
“When I think of a real athlete, I think of the gladiator in the Coliseum,” he says. “You have to deal with the unknown. You have a couple of lions coming at you. The ref is certainly not in your corner. He’s looking for the lion to eat you.”
He Loves Us . . .
Let me begin with an apology that this post might expose my inner Calvinist.
Recently, I was studying a passage of Scripture often erroneously labeled “The Parable of the Prodigal Son.” However, as I studied I realized that this story is not really about a prodigal son. It is actually a story about two very different sons, both of whom are hopelessly lost, and their prodigal father. A father who loves his loves his children extravagantly – some might even say, recklessly. For this is the true definition of the word prodigal: to be wasteful, reckless, or extravagant.
The story should not focus on the debauched and immoral son who “comes to himself” and returns to his father in order to earn love and acceptance through repentance, nor the religious and responsible son who believes that his self-righteous perfection has already secured for himself the love and acceptance of his father. Instead, it should focus on the story of the recklessly loving, incredibly patient, and irresistibly gracious father who offers His love and acceptance to his sinful sons. A true understanding of this story will leave us breathlessly joyful before our own Heavenly Father because it will reveal that we are the sons who have gone astray. While some of us have run far from God into a lifestyle of sin and immorality, others have chosen to stay closer to God through the slavish obedience of religion. But no matter which lifestyle we have chosen, the truth is that we are still on the outside as long as we believe that our own actions will earn us God’s love.
God’s love is not earned. It is given, and it is given recklessly. God does not accept us based on the value of our repentance or the works of our religion. God loves and accepts us because He is a sovereign and gracious God who has worked all things together for His glory and for the good of those whom He calls son (or daughter). The beauty of this parable is found in the simple truth that God loves us like a perfect father. God, our Father, has loved us first so that we might love Him second; He loves us because of who He is and who we are, not because of anything we have, or haven’t, done. Like the Father’s love in this famous Bible story, God’s love does not depend on us. God’s love depends solely upon His divine prerogative. If that scares you, then you need to realize that God is not malicious; He is good. He is not a wicked or stingy Father, He is a recklessly patient and irresistibly gracious daddy.
Nashville Nights (and Days)
by: Bradley Thomas
So, I have been married for a week and two days now, and it’s a piece of cake. I don’t know where people get this idea that marriage is hard work. So far all I have had to do is go on a vacation, have a giant party, and cook like one meal. So easy. Of course, I am kidding. I’m sure it will get more difficult as time goes by, but I am truly looking forward to this new era in life. I love the woman I married and I think she is truly amazing. But my ability to put my foot in my mouth and her ability to become frustrated by her new husband can cause many heated, yet stupid, arguments. There will be plenty of time to talk about that later on though. Let’s start with the fun stuff, and I do not mean the explicit-now-we-are-married stuff, even though that is totally hot. I mean, the actual journey we went on last week. It was amazing.
We traveled to Music City and loved it. Nashville is wonderful. We visited the Grand Ole Opry and the Ryman and the Country Music Hall of Fame, and plenty of the wonderful downtown dives. But there was one night that truly topped any event of any honeymoon ever (again, besides the naughty stuff, of course). We drove into town one evening after hearing that one of our favorite bands, Larkin Poe was playing at this club downtown. You should seriously be listening to this amazing band . . . so good. Anyway, we are walking though the parking lot where we see the band chilling on the curb and we decide to say hello. After a few minutes of chatting and talking about tattoos and how we saw them perform in our hometown, my wife Cristie mentions that I used one of their songs in my vows. A song called, “We Intertwine,” seriously, check out this song – awesome. They were shocked and excited and they were extremely kind and thankful that we were such big fans. According to them, we were the first to include them in a wedding, which was pretty cool. So, we said good bye and let them be as they prepared for the show. Then we head inside to see the other bands perform.
Lo and behold, it was 80’s night for the first hour; nothing attracts more people than a bar holding an 80’s themed party. It was packed, but nothing could have prepared us for what happened next: the real-life-not-an-impersonator-or-cover-artist Tiffany took the stage and led the adoring fans in a classic rendition of “I Think We’re Alone Now.” It was weird and excellent – the real, Tiffany. So after that, we shouldn’t have been surprised when about 18 slightly drunk girls broke out into “Waterfalls” by TLC, complete with the original Left Eye breakdown. Haha, crazy. The second band was a rather wonderful country duo, Myrick/Peacock was their name, and you should check them out, too. They are truly the kind of artists you think about when you think Nashville, very talented. Unfortunately, the bar had cleared out for the most part because 80’s night was over, and real music doesn’t attract a crowd like one-hit wonders do.
Finally, after Myrick/Peacock’s set, it was time for Larkin Poe. The reason we came. They took the stage, and it was killer. About three songs in, they give my new bride and I a shout out, and dedicate a beautiful rendition of the song I used in my vows to us. It was beautiful. A great evening, filled with music and love and true connections. They played that stage as if they were playing Madison Square Garden, and there were only about 15 people in the bar. They were truly passionate about every note and self-written lyric and every person that was there to support them. After the show, they stopped by to say thank you again to Cristie and I, and they left us with their new box set as a symbol of appreciation. It was awesome.
After being confused as locals several times, and enjoying live music every night and day we were there, it was time to return home . . . to our one bedroom apartment and my office job. Even though we would both love to be traveling the world, me as a warrior poet and Cristie as a renowned social advocate for change, this is where we are for now. Where I believe God has placed us for a little while. There have been heartaches and struggles to get where we are, but we are each other’s now, and as the fights and love and growth surely ensue I will be filling you in every step of the way. This journey called marriage is going to be awesome and difficult, and I am really excited.
Meeting Mr. Thomas
Accurately describing Bradley Thomas to someone who has not met him is almost as difficult as describing the color blue to a blind man. Bradley is full of life, passion, and conviction. His desire is to serve his God, fight injustice, and change his world. Bradley really does encompass the ideals of desperation that this blog is about. His life and ministry (and probably his new marriage) are marked by a reckless determination to pursue God. His wife, Cristie, is an advocate for justice and social change and, together, these two might just do the unimaginable . . .
I asked Bradley for a brief bio and this is what he sent me:
For in a world of fast faces, I’m looking for God everywhere, trying to figure out a little better this little thing he made called a man.” I am broken and lost and I am searching for the truth. I am a new husband and each day I am learning how to do right not only by my wife, but by God. I read and write and study to better defend the church and am learning how to build a ministry that is right and just in the eyes of Christ.
Stay tuned, Bradley’s first post will be up sometime in the next few days. I’ve already read it and I am pretty sure you’re going to enjoy it…
(a)Typical
I am sitting in an air-conditioned room surrounded by instruments and empty chairs. Tonight this room will be filled with a few dozen students excited to escape their small town for a week at the beach, a worship band that desires to lead these same students into the beautiful presence of a God who deserves their worship, some adult leaders who truly want to help the next generation love Jesus a little more than the last, and me: a preacher who desperately wants to convey to these teenagers that a normal adolescent life marked by materialism, boredom, arrogance, and laziness is a cultural lie that needs to be exchanged for the atypical life of a Jesus – Follower.
The Bible reveals an atypical Jesus. A Divine Savior who was too transcendent to be merely normal. It also teaches that we, being made in the image of the divine and indwelt by the Divine Spirit, need to rise above the cultural norm and embrace the new normal. We need to be atypical in our world like Jesus: exchanging materialism for justice, boredom for passion, arrogance for humility, and laziness for action. We need people (of all ages) who look more like Jesus and less like the bloated culture in which they dwell. Yet, are we really preparing these students to be atypical or are we falling victim to the disaster which C.S. Lewis scorns in The Abolition of Man?
And all the time—such is the tragi-comedy of our situation—we continue to clamour for those very qualities we are rendering impossible. You can hardly open a periodical without coming across the statement that what our civilization needs is more ‘drive’, or dynamism, or self-sacrifice, or ‘creativity’. In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function. We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful.
Too many well-intentioned people refuse to be atypical or to call the next generation to be atypical. Refusing to embrace the new normal, these people call themselves followers of Jesus, but really they just follow whatever cultural trend is in vogue. Then, like a tired swimmer who gives up paddling in order to scream curse words into the murky depths of the ocean, they speak out against the very cultural tide sweeping them into a sea of ineffectiveness. It is way past time that the words we speak change the things we do; it is time to follow Jesus, embrace the new normal, and become atypical.
Give Them Grace
Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson’s book Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus is not your typical parenting book. It doesn’t promise a quick fix; it doesn’t offer a set of step-by-step rules; and it doesn’t put the impossible weight of your children’s future happiness on your shoulders. Instead, this book teaches a revolutionary lifestyle. It reveals the inherent weakness of every step-by-step parenting model that has, does, or will exist. And, if that isn’t enough, it frees you from the tyranny of parenting perfection by placing your child’s future happiness firmly in the hands of a gracious God. In fact, the two words that best describe my reaction to this book are Shock and Awe. Shock because even though I have been a follower of Jesus and a pastor for quite some time, I have not allowed my parenting to be distinctly marked by the simple truth of God’s grace. Awe because even though I have sinfully neglected the grace of Jesus in my parenting, it is still there.
Give Them Grace is separated into two main sections: Part One – Foundations of Grace and Part 2 – Evidences of Grace. In the opening chapter, the authors highlight the major differences between the law-based parenting that so many Christians practice and the grace-infused parenting that God calls us to. The next two chapters help parents realize that their kids (like themselves) are not good and will never be good apart from the gracious working of God in our lives. The fourth chapter focuses on God’s undeserved and prodigal (extravagant and wasteful) love for His disobedient children. The book’s second section seeks to be a very practical help to parent’s who desire to give their children grace, but feel overwhelmed at this gargantuan undertaking. Chapters Five and Six reveal Biblical guidelines for parenting by focusing on “of the Lord” parenting and the book of Proverbs. The very next chapter, “The Only Good Story,” narrates the beauty of the Gospel. Followed by Chapter Eight’s challenge to see God as He is: our kind, gracious, generous, good, and loving Father. The final two chapters speak hope into the soul of worried parents by teaching three basic facts of humanity: we are weak; Jesus is strong; therefore, we must simply rest in His grace. As worried parents we can embrace this hope because
Grace is what He has given to you: it is oh-so-costly unmerited favor. And with that favor comes His strength to enable you to persevere through every trial of parenting. Grace is not a novel, failsafe catchphrase that will ensure successful parenting. No, it’s something so much better than that! It is God’s assured favorable attitude toward undeserving rebels whom, in His inscrutable love, He has decided to bless (162).
So . . . if you are a parent, this book is for you. Whether you are a sinfully self-assured, self-righteous pharisee of a parent, a sinfully profligate and uncaring parent, or a sinfully nominal Christian parent, Give Them Grace can help you to become the kind of grace-filled Christian parent that your kids need. I challenge you to read these words, embrace these truths, and then feed your kids the grace that they are starving for.
Waiting to Change the World with the Words I Never Said
Often the most culturally relevant voices are ignored by churchians (definition: a churchian is any religious being who only worships at a church building on the weekends, votes republican out of conformity not conviction, and pursues the comfortable illusion of security over the reckless determination that Christ practiced and preached). These churchians tend to label true counter-cultural art as too immoral, angry, or unsettling to be considered “safe and family friendly” enough to inhabit the playlists most often labeled “Christian Music.” Sad, isn’t it. When did Christianity become churchianity? When did it become less about revolution and more about acquiescence? When did we begin to neuter our opinions to fit into a social, cultural, or political ghetto? It is time that we stand up in courage and speak out with conviction; time that we speak out with conviction and live up to our commitments; time that we live up to our commitments to the point of laying down our lives. It is time that we run from the churchian religion we have fallen into and embrace the Christian revolution of Jesus.
If you are interested in what spurned these thoughts, check out Lupe Fiasco’s Words I Never Said video/song and John Mayer’s Waiting for the World to Change video/song. I don’t agree with or support everything these guys say or how they say it, but, like them, I am tired of waiting to change the world with the words I never said.
Ancient Wisdom for the Modern Way
This is a sermon that travels (almost) the length of the Bible. I begin in 2 Peter 1:16 -21 and focus on the fact that prophecy is Ancient Wisdom for the Modern Way. Then, I begin with Isaiah and QUICKLY preach all the way through Malachi; focusing on the prophet, the main idea of the book, and one (or more) key passages. It was a lot of fun and a lot of information. I hope you enjoy it.
… sorrowful but always rejoicing …
Paul was a man’s man, a scholar’s scholar, and a missionary’s missionary. Paul knew hardship the way most of us know comfort. Most of you who read these words will read them like I wrote them: after waking up in an air conditioned home; after availing yourself of the convenience of modern plumbing; after drinking a cup of coffee; after preparing a meal or skipping a meal for any of a thousand reasons – but definitely not because you don’t have enough food; after watching some television; after playing with your family; and after reading your very own Bible. But this was not Paul’s world. Paul was a man who endured hardship that most of us can’t even really fathom. I am not just talking about the hardships of ancient life: no medicine, no plumbing, and no cable. I am talking about the hardships that come with a life of desperation for the things of God. He was beaten by men who were professionals at the science of inflicting pain. He was shipwrecked. He was stoned (think: angry people standing around him and throwing large rocks at him until he passed out from the pain and died from a combination of internal injuries and blood loss). He was hated, libeled, slandered, and exiled. Paul truly lived in a world of discomfort.
Yet, in Paul’s second letter to the church at Corinth he reveals that he is somehow “sorrowful but always rejoicing.” How is this possible? How could a man who endured so much pain and who had seen so much tragedy rejoice in anything? The answer is the Christlike joy of having an unshakable hope grounded in the certain promise of a heavenly eternity. Paul understood better than most that this life is short and that we can die at any time. On the other hand, eternity is long. So what’s a little pain and a few near death experiences if by those we can earn for ourselves an “eternal weight of glory” in the world that is to come. Our hope is not for comfort here; it is not for affirmation here; it is not for recognition here; it is not for success here; it is not for security here. Our hope is in God who promises that this world will pass away and the reality that shall replace it will bring us the comfort, the affirmation, the recognition, the success, and the security that we have always craved as children of God.
Be clear though, Paul is not teaching some kind of stoic endurance of pain for the greater good. Paul understands that pain is painful and that sadness is dark. He also understands that their is no virtue in deceiving ourselves about our suffering. We are to be honest about what we have experienced and how bad it has been, but we need to be just as honest about what we have yet to experience and how awesome that shall be (if we know Jesus). When troubles come we should practice the pattern of Jesus: endure the temporary for the sake of the eternal. We should allow ourselves to be sorrowful, but we must not let sorrow destroy our joy. That way when the darkness of sorrow descends upon the ruins of our temporary happiness, we can focus our eyes on the light of eternity and remain sorrowful but always rejoicing.
